Penis

Penis

By Jane Pierce

‘Go and bade ya skin bai, jus’ now we gah fuh leff and go in town, Ah ain’t able wid de town hustle,’ Mommy de jus fatiguing me ears. ‘Is Saturday and de Barbershop gon gat nuff people. If Ah leff ya and ga lang ‘bout me business ya don’ like dat.’ Ah de watching Thundercats and dey de jus ‘bout to meet up de bad man, when Mommy plug out de TV. Ah coulda cry. When me and me friends come together, we’d pretend dat we’s Thundercats and fight de bad man, but since nobody neva like being de bad man, we’d pretend he in de sky. We’d mek airplanes and pitch dem up in de air fuh tek down de bad man. But me plane coulda neva reach far and everybody use to be so busy meking dey own plane, so Ah use to leff pun me own. ‘Eah bai, Ah seh go and bade ya skin!’ Mommy jug me outta ma seat. She face de red like a ripe mango and Ah know if Ah din move to de downstairs pipe is one cut tail Ah de getting. Mommy stand up and stare me down so much, it de only leff fuh she eyeball jump at me. She hand de tapping hard pun she legs and she right leg de tapping fast, fast pun de floor. She look like a giant trying to bruk through de ground. Ah try not to look at she – if ya look at adults when dey vex, dem does wan’ share licks. Yah does gat to put ya head down and don’ seh nun, so dey could feel good ‘bout deyself. If ya stand up and look dem in de eye, dem does lash ya. And when dem sen’ ya fuh do sum’ting, ya best move fast or ya gon feel a leder belt or a whip across ya bamzie, and if ya unlucky a whip across ya head. If de whip ketch ya too hard, it could h’ut fuh days. Den dem gon ask ya, ‘Ah gee ya sumt’ing fuh cry fuh?’ Ah does wan’ seh yes, yah ain’t beat meh, but Ah know to meself Ah woulda geh slap up. So Ah does suck in de cry and feel bad inside, while de licks bun through mah skin. When dem done, dey does seh, ‘ya larn ya lesson now?’

‘Yes.’ Ah’d reply. Sumtimes Ah does forget wha’ Ah geh licks fuh and dem does geh vex and double de dose to remind meh, but dat neva use to wuk. After a while, it stop h’ut and din bother me, but Ah still coulda feel it. Ah din like dat dey thought Ah de bad and not a good chil’.

When Ah reach downstairs by de pipe, and start bade me skin, me willy start rise up. Ah never tell nobody me willy use to geh hard. Ah never understand how it used to wuk. No wait! One time Ah de tell me cousin, Stacy. She start laugh at me and mek Ah feel bad, so Ah din tell back nobody when me willy start fuh shoot up. De thing used to geh hard, hard when Ah see two people kissing pun TV. Ah figure Das why adults used to cover ya eye when dem t’ing showing, cah ya willy not suppose to get hard. It used to be hard when Ah wake up too. De thing does feel stiff, stiff and Ah used to try and bend it down before Ah pee, but de thing jus’ use to bounce up back. When is time fuh go tailet, Ah used to pee pun de seat and all over de floor. It wasn’t me fault though, willy hard fuh control when it hard. De women in de house would dig licks in me skin when Ah pee pun de seat. Is almost every morning Ah used to geh licks, till Ah jus geh fed up and start pee outside. Ah feel dem couldn’t understand how hard it is to use dat thing in de morning. Dem ain’t gat one. All dey gat to do is sid down, so dem ain’t gat no problem wid spraying.

Ah start observe me willy closely while soaping up me belly. Dis t’ing jus look so strange, and to me it jus don’ look like a willy, it too weird to have such a simple name. It don’ look like ah loli either, or a birdie. Ah think birdie is de stupitest name me Auntie Romona coulda call it. It don’ even resemble a bird. Ah neva see no bird geh hard hard and then geh back soft. Willies don’ have no bird beak, so why call it birdie? Ah de really wan’ know fuh find out Dis t’ing name. De right name, nah know mek up name dese adults does tell chirren.

When Ah done bade and put on ma clothes, Ah went straight to ma Auntie and ah ask she, “wha is de real name for willy?”

‘Penis.’ she seh.

‘Penis?’

‘Yes.’

‘But it don’ look like a penis?

‘Ah din name it penis, so meeno wha’ else you wan’ Ah call it?’

Ah din like she explanation, it don’ look like a penis. To me, is like if God mek we hand, foot, eyes, nose and every other body part and couple days later he invite some aliens and dey mek de penis. Das how different it use to feel from de rest Ah me body. Dis thing in name penis, it coulda never name penis. Da word ain’t even mek sense. Ah know this t’ing got a special name, a big fancy name and me Auntie jus waiting fuh Ah get lil mo’ big fuh tell me de word. Ah din able wait, fuh turn a adult, Ah had to find out de correct name. So Ah plan to ask Mr. Raper when Ah come home from de Barber. He does normally pass we house in de afternoon.

Mr. Raper is a tall old man with round glasses. All he hair pun he hands grey and he always gat a big round hat pun he head, so ya coulda never see at de top of it. Mr. Raper does ride a big silver bike and it gat a bell he does ring loud, loud, so ya always know when he passing. He use to share sweety out to me and ma cousins after he gee we bitters to drink. He was de only person, who coulda gee we fuh drink bitters. Plus he used to gee money based on old you was. Ah din so big and Mr. Raper seh me ain’t gat use fuh money, so Ah never geh any. Me cousin, Stacy, used to always laugh when ya call de man name. Grandmother seh how she gat dem big dutty laugh and how she should control she self. Ah agree with Grandmother, when Stacy laugh it used to mek Ah feel lil uncomfortable. She whole mouth used to open and she belly used to lift up and come back in. She bobby used to look like it woulda pop out she shirt. Ah think dat was de best part o’ de laugh. Ah used to wan’ she bobby pop out, but dat neva happen. Das a next t’ing dat mek me willy geh hard, bobby.

‘Mr. Raper, Mr. Raper, Mr. Raper!’ Ah shout.

‘Young fella, are you going to drink some extra bitters today?’

‘No, Mr. Raper, but Ah wan’ ask ya sum’ting.’

‘What is it you want ask me?’

‘Wha’ is de right name fuh Willy?’

Mr. Raper pull down he glasses and look at me. Fuh Ah moment Ah thought Ah do somet’ing wrang, he neva look at me so before. Den he laugh and seh, ‘Penis.’

‘But Tommy, your parents never told you the right name for it?’

‘No, Mr. Raper. Ya sure Das wha ya does call it?’

‘Dat’s the name dey call it, it doesn’t matter whether it look like a penis or not, it’s a penis.’

‘Alrite.’ Ah feel so strange, like Ah de so excited to hear de name o’ me willy and Ah get so disappointed. Ah drink Mr. Raper bitters and den he ask,

‘Good, what sweety you want today, green, blue or red?’

‘Mr. Raper why yah does always ask dah when yah know Ah like mah sweety mix up?’

‘Sometimes people change their mind.’

‘Not me Mr. Raper.’ A collect me sweety and head back inside. When Ah reach in de house, Auntie Romona seh:

‘Hello, come hay.’ She talk it softly and slowly, she face de serious. Whenever she talk like dat, it means lil chirren in trouble.

‘Wha’ you went and ask dat big man?’ Me ain’t answer she.

‘Hello, Ah ask you a question, is what you went and ask dat big man?’

‘Auntie Ah ask he wha’ is de right name fuh willy?’

She grab me by me jersey and pull me in strong. Ah could feel de blood leff me body and Ah try fuh stiffen up fuh de licks.

‘After Ah tell you is Penis you does call dat thing? You still went and ask dat big man wha’ ya does call it?’ Ah put down me head and look at ma foot. Auntie lift up back me chin. It was Ah try, but Ah know it wouldn’t Ah save me. Auntie hand feel hot, hot pun me body, like she just tek it out de oven.

‘Stacy bring de leder belt.’ Auntie Romona is a woman, who yah don’ beg fuh spare yuh cah is mo’ licks ya does get. Ah jus stay quiet. Stacy bring de belt and Auntie turn me ‘round and start fuh beat me.

‘Ah ain’t tell ya dat t’ing is called a penis, and you gon go and ask dat big big man, what ya does call it? Is no shame yah ain’t gat?’ But de thing is, Ah din feel it was shame fuh ask dat, Ah really din thought Ah woulda geh licks fuh that. Ah feel lil chirren shouldn’t get beat so bad, Ah mean all Ah do was ask Mr. Raper wha’ is de right name fuh willy and he din even mind. So meeno why Ah had to get beat, Ah really din know why. Ah start wish if Ah could mek Ah airplane and poke out Auntie eyeball, but den a remember me plane don’ point good and it would jus’ be a waste o’ time. Auntie hard face woulda jus’ crush de plane and Ah woulda see de plane crash to de ground and feel mo’ bad bout maself. Later in de night, Ah hear Auntie tell Mommy how she gat to start raising me right, cah Ah gon cause she big embarrassment when Ah geh big, and shame de family. Ah din wan’ cause no big embarrassment. Ah din wan cause ma mother embarrassment. It don’ mek Ah feel good ‘bout meself.
© 2017